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Get to Know Courtney Stodden Better, That 16 Year Old Bride That Looks 30

Posted by on June 24, 2011 0 Comment

Love is a weird thing: You never quite know when and where cupid’s arrow might strike. Take, for example, the recent nuptials of Doug Hutchison, a 51-year-old actor best known for a recurring role on Lost, to (allegedly) 16-year-old Courtney Stodden. Stodden is an aspiring everything from Ocean Shores, Washington, an area of the country one could describe as a morbid, destitute shithole of a coastal village masquerading as some kind of ‘tourist destination.’ Oh and Stodden was Miss Ocean Shores 2009.

Stodden, who says she is 16 but who has all the confidence and poise of a woman four times that age, has a YouTube page overflowing with showcase material. Where to even begin? There’s a music video for a song called “Don’t Put It On Me” that suggests a downmarket Ke$ha as she might look in a low-budget piranha movie. I watched until the end, but sadly, the piranhas never appeared.

For something a little less frivolous, Stodden posted this anti-bullying PSA below. Shot in austere black-and-white, Stodden identifies as a bullying victim herself, then uses the PSA opportunity to respond directly to each and every one of her internet detractors.

And there are many. Along the way she reveals a lot about herself: Her large breasts are “rill, my hair is rill, my teeth are rill,” and she’s “a virgin [and] I plan on staying that way until I’m married.”

Lets talk about the 51 year old guy she married now. Doug Hutchison, aka Eugene Victor Tooms, aka the sniveling whinger prison guard from “The Green Mile,” aka every normal family’s worst nightmare of a son-in-law? Was he even acting in those roles? Because this is a fabulous example of life imitating art. Courtney, if he starts in with the 1000-yard stare, dreamily licking scraps of newspaper, RUN! Agencies

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